my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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