all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
40s are totally the cure
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
