is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
