Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
