i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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