You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
