I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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