it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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