I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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