'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize