have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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