the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
