I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize