She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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