nut hugger
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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