Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
