I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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