I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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