I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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