they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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