The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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