porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
