After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
They took my balls.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
