But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
