I bet he comes in French.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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