I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
