Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
