addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
