There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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