another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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