come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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