Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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