TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
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