After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
