its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize