you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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