there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
