I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
