It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize