so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
