I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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