Don't you send me to vm
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize