Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
