there was a trapeze. enough said
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize