sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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