I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he wants to bone in the snuggie
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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