i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
