My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize