he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
