I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
