called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
third nipple confirmed
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
