just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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