Nicole vs. Life
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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