she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
