Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
What drink are we having for lunch?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
