ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Less talking, more tequila
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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