i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
