After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize