Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
a search helicopter?!
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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