Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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