Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
