would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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