I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I would fuck him just for his dog
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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